Getting Smart on Your Emotions

When you think about someone that’s real smart, what are some of the qualities of that person that come to mind? Is it the high number of non-fiction books they’ve read? Is it their ability to balance their work/homelife while still finding time to get after their passion projects? Or maybe it’s the way they’re able to recall any meme and/or niche pop culture reference from the last five years? Intelligence is something that is often approached from a variety of perspectives and often changes over time. Growing up, it might have felt like test scores determined your smarts — entering your 20s and 30s, it might feel like proving your ability to flex your “adulting” skills became more of a way to show impact.

To stay mindful at any age, growing your emotional intelligence (sometimes referred to as EQ) is one way to thrive in your day-to-day grind. According to the Office of Personnel Management, emotional intelligence “involves a set of skills or abilities that may be categorized into five domains: Self-awareness, Managing emotions, Motivating oneself, Empathy, and Handling Relationships.” The Harvard Extension School for Professional Development discusses how people with higher emotional intelligence “understand the links between their emotions and how they behave, remain calm and composed during stressful situations, are able to influence others toward a common goal, and handle difficult people with tact and diplomacy.” In a world where we’re often feeling ~all the feelings~, understanding your emotions and how to manage them in a healthy way will make your relationship with yourself — and others — much more positive.

To get started on boosting your emotional intelligence, consider these three quick tips:

Sit with the feeling.

While we can’t literally sit down with our feelings like hope, joy, annoyance, or fear — we can take a hot sec to feel them, acknowledge them, and address them in a strategic way that makes us feel more ready to rock and roll. As humans, we’re fundamentally designed to experience a wide range of ups and downs. Rather than ignoring your thoughts or letting all that pent-up energy increase your blood pressure, pretend like you’re a pro surfer — ride the wave.

Look for the solutions.

Some days, it might feel like we have 99 problems — but wouldn’t it be great to have 99 solutions? Approach challenges you face with a solution-oriented mindset. Whether it is a complex task at work, a disagreement with a friend, or a home improvement project, think about the most immediate next step. What can you tackle or say next to help remedy the situation? What kinds of questions can you ask to lead to a tangible plan? Center yourself by thinking about what’s possible.

Channel your inner student.

Have you ever had someone ask if they can offer you “constructive criticism” and immediately start worrying about what they’re going to say next? It’ll take some practice but try to reframe moments of criticism as moments of learning opportunities. Sometimes the most helpful piece of advice comes through for us when we least expect it.

For more ideas on improving your mental health and building better daily habits, check out Real Good Day on Twitter and Instagram by searching @RGDcampaign.